In th End
by thechosen1
Summary: Chapter 2 is up. Buffy and Spike discover what really matters
1. Default Chapter

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Disclaimer: I own nothing, not Buffy, not Spike, nothing….but you knew that

As Buffy Summers wondered around Sunnydale aimlessly, the misty rain fell on her face, camouflaging the tears that ran down her cheeks. She wasn't really crying, for she made no sound, yet there seemed to be no end to the tiny droplets that fell from her eyes.

She hadn't noticed that she was being followed. Didn't hear the quiet footsteps behind her, protecting her from the night. All she could hear was the rain as it hit the pavement, and the sound of water slapping on the floor with every step she took. It seemed like she'd been walking around for hours just listening to the sound her footsteps made as they hit the puddles. 

He'd been following her since she left the hospital that night. He knew she wasn't well. This was too much for any one person to handle alone, even the Slayer. 

He kept his distance. Staying a block behind her at every interval; giving her space. He knew he was needed. The very fact that she hadn't noticed him proved enough that he was needed.

Buffy walked into the deserted children's park, watching as the wind pushed empty swings back and forth. It was an eerie sight to see. She watched on, imagining how many children would never play on those swings if she couldn't win this fight. How many would die?

She tried to push those thoughts aside, but couldn't help herself. Tonight had been the first time that she truly doubted whether or not she could win this battle.

As she walked over to the squeaky swings she saw him in the distance. His platinum hair was glistening in the rain. She looked his way and stared into his eyes from afar. She understood the pain in those deep icy blue eyes, partially because she was feeling it to, partially because she always felt what feelings were deep inside of him, they were connected. Her and Spike shared something that was unexplainable. 

Spike walked over to where Buffy was sitting on the swings and sat on a bench facing her. Watching as she peddled her feet back and forth slightly, seeing the tears stream down her face as she did. He wanted to hold her, to comfort her- but he wasn't sure what to do. She looked so lost. He wanted to kiss her lips and make the pain go away, to make her forget…at least for a little while. Seeing her there, crying…he couldn't stand it. He had to help her.

"How did you find me," she asked, as she looked up into his eyes again.

"I followed you, love. I couldn't have you just roaming about. I had to watch over my girl," Spike answered as he searched the pain in her face for some sort of reaction. She was needing him right now and he knew it. Question was, would she be willing to admit it.

She didn't know quite how to respond. She didn't want to argue the fact that she wasn't his girl. There were too many other important things going on. Instead, she forced a smile through her tears. 

"You saved his life…I'll never forget…" She quickly looked down towards the floor as the emotion overwhelmed her. Xander had proved himself over and over again. He never felt his role was important, didn't realize how necessary he was to their close knit group, but she would never have made it this far without him. He was more than a friend, he was family. 

"He lost an eye, but it could have been so much worse. He could have lost his life tonight Spike, and it would have been all my fault, but you saved him. I sent them in there…all of them. I knew they weren't ready."

"Don't! Don't do that to yourself. You had no choice but to go in there, and you know it. You went in there fighting, it's your job, you're the slayer." Spike stood and took a few steps closer to where Buffy sat on the swing.

Buffy kept pushing herself back and forth. The chains rattling and the sound of the rust echoing in the night. The rain was falling heavier now, matting her blond curls to her face and neck. Her clothes fit like second skin. She shivered slightly from the comment.

"I'm a slayer Spike, not the Slayer- don't tell me you forgot about Faith, you two looked so close before," she shot at him as he winced from the remark. "I'm sorry…that was uncalled for. Besides, it's my job to protect those girls, not to send them off to their deaths."

"They had to be tested sooner or later, you know. At least you found something out tonight. This preacher fellow, Caleb whatever, he's strong- but he's a man. You can fight him. He may have the first on his side, but you can cause him pain. As for Faith…she's insignificant. You're the Slayer Buffy, and you know it. She knows it too."

Spike reached his hand out the grab the chain supporting the swing. He held it tight to keep Buffy from moving back again. They were both drenched, but oblivious to the downpour as they stared at one another for what seemed like forever. 

"You did what you had to do," he said as he leaned in closer to her face, "you did what was right. None of what happened is your fault. It needed to be done, if not now, soon. At least now you know what you're dealing with."

Buffy reached up and embraced him, wrapping her arms around him as she allowed her head to collapse against his chest. He could feel her shudder against him as the tears poured out. He held on to her tight and ran his hand through her hair. "Shhhh, Buffy. No worries. I'm not going to let anything happen to my girl," he said as he placed his lips to the top of her head in a soft kiss. "Let's get you home then, love. It'd be wise to get you out of those wet clothes."

(TBC)


	2. What Matters

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Disclaimer: I own nothing, not Buffy, not Spike, nothing….but you knew that

Neither one of them said a word as they walked back to the house. Spike walked quietly, head down with his arms to the side as his worn leather duster fluttered behind him. The rain was blurring his vision slightly but his eyes would turn to her every few seconds as they walked, taking her in. Taking in her beauty, her grace, but also something new that was there. 

She was vulnerable, everything about her was different. He didn't understand what it was in her that he was seeing but he sure as hell didn't like it. It scared him. Yes, scared HIM- Spike, former big bad himself.

Buffy walked hugging herself with her arms as she went, trying to keep her shivering down. She was cold and wet, yes, but that wasn't the worse of it. She was tired and hurt. She didn't feel like she had it in her anymore. This was bad. 

As they reached the front porch Spike moved ahead to open the door for her.

"Don't worry love, we'll get you warmed up right quick."

Buffy walked in, not responding at all. She seemed to be almost in a state of shock.

The house was quiet and empty. Too empty. The others-those who weren't hurt or dead, she thought- had all decided to stay at the hospital. She should have too, but she couldn't stand it in there any longer. Couldn't stand to look at Xander, couldn't stand to think of the faces that were missing. 

Spike helped her out of her jacket and pulled a throw blanket off of the sofa in the living room, wrapping it tight around her as he faced her. Her eyes were empty…cold.

She grasped the edges of the blanket and looked up into his eyes, "Thank you Spike," she said, as she lowered her eyes to the floor. 

Spike fought his compulsion to kiss her. His urges were too strong and this wasn't the right time. There might not ever be a right time again. He didn't know how to respond, didn't know what to say. He simply nodded his head in acknowledgement and said, "why don't you go up to bed and get some rest love."

She headed up the stairs before turning around to watch him leave towards the basement. She stared at the empty spot where he had been a moment ago for a long while before heading to her room. 

**********

Hours later Buffy lay in her bed. Not moving, not thinking, just staring up at the ceiling. She couldn't sleep or breathe, or do much of anything. She was losing it. She needed…something. She felt empty.

She got up out of bed and headed down the stairs to the first floor. She stopped a moment, not really sure where she was heading or what it was she planned to do.

Without thinking she grasped the door handle leading to the basement and opened the door. She paused again before slowly walking down the stairs.

Spike was in his bed, but she couldn't tell if he was sleeping or not. She silently tip toed over to his bed and lay down next to him. She wrapped her arm around his body and lay her head on his chest.

"Buffy?" Spike stirred from his sleep and wrapped his arms around her seemingly frail body. "You okay love?"

"Couldn't sleep…you mind if I…"

Spike held her tight against him and moved her face up to him as he kissed her softly on the lips.

"No need to ask, pet. You know your place is right here by me."

Buffy was taken aback by the kiss. It stirred something deep inside of her that had been longing for him for so long. She was overcome with emotion from all that had happened. She looked into his eyes and saw something warm in them that had once been icy blue. 

Buffy thought of something then, something she had known for a long time. She could always fool everyone around her, including herself, but not Spike. She could never hide from him. He knew her; understood her on a level that no one else would ever reach. She stretched herself up and kissed him once on the forehead before moving her lips down his face to kiss him on either cheek. 

Finally her lips found his and they were entwined in a kiss. Spike's body was tightening as her kisses became more powerful, more desperate. 

Regaining his composure he softly lifted her face away from his, "You've finally come to claim what's yours, pet. Say the words, I've got to hear them." He said as he looked deep into her eyes.

"You know I…" Buffy hesitated a moment, she was scared to open herself up after so much. It was hard to let him in, after all they'd been through- all she'd been through. It seemed she always went from hurt to more hurt.

"Buffy," he said as he ran his fingers through her long blond tresses, "I want you…more than ever, and I need you love, but if you're hurting…well then…this won't make it go away. I don't want to make things worse for us then they already are…"

Buffy rolled her body on top of his, caressing his face as she continued to look into his eyes. Her fingers caressed every crevice of his face, taking him in as if for the first time. In that moment everything else ceased to exist because she knew that in the end it would come down to just the two of them. 

No matter who else was around them, this was what the end was about, and she didn't care anymore. Whether she won or lost, she would have this moment in her heart forever, however long that might be, and she would take it with her and she would treasure it, because tonight they would make love and she knew he meant it, and he would know too.

"Spike…I love you…"


End file.
